Authentic Leadership
Day 2
WHO ARE YOU AS A LEADER?
A Bit About Behavior
We all possess what is necessary for us to thrive and grow in our work life. One of the most crucial contributions to this is the awareness of our own and others' strengths. Research shows that identifying and focusing on our strengths can enhance both engagement, well-being, and joy—both for ourselves and others.
It’s also important to recognize that our strengths can become overwhelming. Others might feel irritated, react unexpectedly, or the energy might dissipate in the room. This often happens when interacting with someone who has a different behavior from what we prefer and find natural.
You might know those who say, "That's just how I am..." when pointed out things they don't think are okay.
That approach doesn’t work. We need to actively work on using our strengths appropriately and become aware of our development areas in relation to behaviors that might drain others' energy.
With awareness of our own behavior, we can:
Better Identify and Utilize Our Strengths: Understand how to make the most of what we’re good at.
Increase Tolerance for Others' Strengths: Develop a broader acceptance of different strengths and styles.
Learn to Communicate Differently with Different People: Adapt our communication style to fit various individuals.
In this context, we refer to four different archetypes. We all exhibit traits of each, but we often have a primary profile that we recognize, especially in challenging situations.
When interacting with others, situations often reveal that we experience things differently. We react in various ways and therefore often end up in different places.
By becoming aware of our own and others' behavior, we can use effective communication tools to clearly express what we want, ask questions more easily, set boundaries, and handle criticism constructively.
The better you are at being aware of your own and others' behavior, and mastering assertive communication, the more impact you will have among your peers, colleagues, and employees.
This means you’ll find it easier to be heard and understood, and others will trust you more. It also reduces disagreements because you tend to ask curious questions rather than judge others.
The 4 Archetypes Defined:
The Producer - The Red Profile: Focuses on results and achievements, often seen as assertive and driven.
The Entrepreneur - The Yellow Profile: Emphasizes creativity and innovation, known for being enthusiastic and inspiring.
The Administrator - The Blue Profile: Values organization and accuracy, characterized by being methodical and detail-oriented.
The Integrator - The Green Profile: Prioritizes harmony and support, recognized for being patient and team-oriented.
THE RED PROFILE:
Ambitious and Performance-Oriented
Goal-focused
Leads the way
Prefers to lead alone
Seeks full control
Excludes those who don’t fit
Quick to reward and punish
The major weakness may be that they want to do everything by themselves and therefore has difficulty trusting others. They may also struggle to accept others' methods.
THE YELLOW PROFILE
Is adventurous and courageous
Outgoing and full of energy
Ideas can flow so freely that it can be overwhelming
Not afraid to take risks or seize opportunities
A colorful person with expressive, descriptive language
Enjoys the freedom to create
The major weakness is unpredictability. Because he/she often thinks quickly and changes his/her mind just as fast. He/she can be too far ahead of everyone else.
THE BLUE PROFILE:
Detail-oriented
Logical and reasonable
Persistent and often strong-willed
Plans and executes
Values routines, rituals, and procedures
Fearful of making mistakes
Very interested in facts
The major weakness can be a lack of courage—fear of making mistakes. They want to have control over everything and may believe in their own infallibility.
THE GREEN PROFILE:
Caring and helpful
Friendly and well-liked by others
A good listener
Sensitive to others' feelings
Not afraid to help others
Collaborative
Loyal
The major weakness is that the person is easily led astray because of a trusting nature and not thinking ill of others. They may also be low-energy and hide it behind a facade of false friendliness.
With awareness of behavior in your toolkit, you are better equipped for assertive communication and can engage in solution-oriented and equitable dialogue.
Assertive communication is about being clear and direct while also respecting others and their ways of doing things and understanding the world. It involves creating an interaction and dialogue that fosters a good, equal exchange and win-win situations.
It reflects a mindset and communication style that signals:
"I am okay—You are okay."
Non-verbal communication
Our behavior and personality are one aspect, but another crucial element is our attitude, demeanor, and overall non-verbal communication. In fact, our body often communicates more than our words.
Research shows that up to 55% of our communication is through body language! This means that our body language can completely alter the meaning of a sentence.
Mehrabian’s Rule is essential to understand and be aware of when training in communication.
How to Ensure Impact Through Your Body Language:
How do you come across when delivering messages to employees?
How do you present yourself in front of your boss?
What does your body language communicate when you are feeling insecure?
Being mindful of how you use body language in various situations can enhance your communication effectiveness and improve your interactions with others.
Mehrabian’s Rule
7-38-55
Assertive Communication
The Clear Giraffe
Giraffe language is assertive and based on non-violent communication. It focuses on expressing one's own needs clearly and directly.
Wolf Language is the opposite of giraffe language. When speaking wolf language, one tends to judge and accuse others, hears only what they want to hear, and struggles to stay on topic.
You need to manage both your internal and external wolves. Wolf language is aggressive and unconstructive. An internal wolf may express itself through thoughts like “Why didn’t I think of that?” or “I’m not as good as others.” An external wolf attacks by using "you" language, interrupting, asking leading questions, placing blame and shame, and sticking rigidly to one’s own principles.
Be conscious of using giraffe language. A giraffe stays on its own side of the court, bases communication on personal experiences, understands differences and feelings, and listens with empathy.
The Giraffe Communicates in “I” Language
The giraffe communicates using "I" statements and asks open-ended questions with curiosity. The giraffe separates facts from feelings and takes responsibility for the relationship and the situation. This approach is aligned with Conflict Ladder Level 1.
Instead of spending time attacking each other, finding fault, blaming, or becoming angry/disappointed because others haven’t done what was agreed upon, one can act as a “Giraffe.”
This means being clear. Articulate what you are experiencing, how it affects you, and the consequences for your own actions. Listen and take the time to understand the other person's perspective. Find solutions, work together to find a resolution based on the shared understanding of the situation.
Think about the following situation
Your colleague criticizes the way you provide service.
She believes that you are not delivering what the guest expects and what is expected of you as an employee.
You find the criticism unreasonable and defend yourself.
She becomes more and more agitated.
How do you respond assertively?
DOUBLE - CLICK
In communication, the concept of "double-click" refers to the practice of delving deeper into a subject to gain a more thorough understanding. Just like a double-click on a computer mouse opens a file or application for closer inspection, a "double-click" in conversation involves asking follow-up questions or seeking more details to fully grasp the other person’s perspective or to clarify the context of the discussion.
Here's how to apply "double-click" in communication:
Seek Clarification: If something isn’t clear, ask for more information. For instance, “Can you explain that in more detail?” or “What do you mean by that?”
Explore Feelings: Dig deeper into emotional responses to understand them better. For example, “How did that situation make you feel?” or “What’s behind your reaction?”
Understand Impact: Inquire about the effects of a situation on the person or the outcome. For example, “How does this affect your work?” or “What impact do you see from this change?”
Encourage Elaboration: Prompt the speaker to elaborate on their ideas or concerns. For example, “Can you tell me more about your thoughts on this?” or “What are some examples of this happening?”
By "double-clicking," you ensure that conversations are comprehensive and that all aspects of a topic are thoroughly explored, leading to better understanding and more effective problem-solving.
The "reverse click" is a technique where you ask your employee to explain what they understand from your words. This practice helps to ensure that there are no misunderstandings and that your message has been clearly received.